And Joy Flew In...

When I graduated with my creative writing degree in December, I deeply anticipated the freedom that comes with post-college life. I was going to have a vehicle at my disposal, I was going to get a steady job and take charge of my own finances, I was going to read whatever I wanted and write whatever I liked. No syllabi, no assignments, no deadlines. But, as is often the way with plans, most of them didn’t come to pass. Instead, I found myself, along with my family, neck deep in some extremely trying circumstances. I had no car at my disposal, no job, and not much time for reading and writing.  Most of my time is taken up with housework. How do I feel about that? Well, that is the great adventure.

At first, I took to sweeping, mopping, dish-doing, laundry, etc. with a kind of nervous energy, then a kind of bitter energy, then an altogether lack of energy. Nothing drains like a discontented spirit and my spirit was not content. I began to grow frustrated and harried. Frustrated at my family for making so many dishes (I’m not sure what I expected them to do. Perhaps eat their breakfast on a napkin), frustrated at entropy for generating mess, secretly frustrated with God for changing my plans without my consent. I knew in my heart that all this frustration sprung from a thorn of rebellion in my heart and nothing, I repeat, nothing causes sickness of the soul like rebellion in the heart. I knew that I was creating new attitude habits, the repercussions of which I would suffer from for the rest of my life unless something changed – soon. So I went in search of change and the answer I discovered was remarkably simple.

I opened my hand.

That is all. I opened my hand and embraced the work God set before me. People who don’t trust God live with their hands clasped shut, knuckles white, desperately clinging to the idea, dream, relationship that they have set up as more necessary to their happiness than their Heavenly Father. I realized that this was me. I realized that joy belongs only to the open-handed Christian. So I opened my hand – and joy flew in.

Life is challenging but life is wonderful. Even in the midst of trial, of dark valleys, joy is there. Don’t sit and tell yourself that on the other side of your shadow there will be joy. On this side of your shadow there can be joy, you just have to open your hand and let joy nestle there, in the place of the lesser thing.